”Hello, my name is Debbie.
Uhm, this is my first attemp – oops – uhm, at a eHarmony-video, uhm, this is my first time at online dating so I’m nervous but I’m excited at the same time, uhm, so I’m just gonna start talking about what I like, and hope I get some replies.
Uhm, so I am a recent, uh, NBA grad from Villa Nova, uhm: I. Love. Cats. Uhm, I just – Sorry, I’m getting emotional.
I love cats, uhm, I love every kind of cat. Sorry, I just, I really love cats.
And I just wanna hug all of them, but I can’t, ’cause that is crazy, I can’t hug every cat, but I just WANT to, I want to. I want to – Uhm – (laughter) I’m sorry, I just get, I need time, I hear cat, I just love cats. Uhm, Oooh! I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.
Uhm, so anyway, I am a cat-lover, uhm, and I love to run.
(crying) I’m sorry, I’m thinking about cats again. (sob) It’s just, I think about how many don’t have a home, and how I should have them, and how cute they are, and their ears, and the whiskers, and the nose. I just love them, and I want them, and I want them in a basket, and I want little bow-ties, (sob) I want them to be on a rainbow and just in my bed, and I just want a house, full of them, and I just want to roll around. I can’t. I just, I can’t.”
Hurry, get that drama queen a pussy cat, for goodness sake.
Now, do you see what all this kawaii nonsense leads to?
Can we please go back to Legos and Brio railroads?
Barbie, come back; all is forgiven!